Dream House

You haven't heard yet cuz I haven't told you but I have been thinking alot lately about the relationship of the West to the developing countries in the world. Thinking about how much we consume and what effect that has on the rest of the world. Wondering why we consume as much as we do and why we feel it necessary to have so much.

It brings me, once again, to a place of conflicting desires. The list of things I wish to do would most certainly bore you but perhaps I will include bits and pieces along the way. The reality is that I'm renting a house (its quite nice actually), paying off student loans and looking for a job. Not exactly my dream world. I'd much rather be in my own house, one where I can decide which walls get to stay and which ones get smashed. Actually, its much more than that. I have this dream house...its based more on a feeling than any actual design. It would be a space of creative freedom. A darkroom, a library, a pottery wheel and kiln, a photography studio that doubles as a dance room, a painting studio, a garden - one for vegetables and one like they used to have with trees and hedges and paths and benchs, although I'd prefer it more wild, less manicured. A place where whoever came felt free to express - even those who aren't 'artists.'

I have always felt God's immanence, his closeness, most in places that spoke of His transcendence. A gravel road in the country at night with only the stars for light, a giant rock overlooking a lake, the ocean or the chapel at BBC. My house would have high ceilings and floor to ceiling windows in every possible space. I have a slight aversion to things that are new - they have no history, no story to tell. So it would probably be an old building that I converted and renovated. That's one thing on my wish list - learn to build houses. But after all that...I have to be practical. Is it right for me to occupy that much space? To own a house? To buy all the supplies necessary for such a place to exist? To consume? Even if it is a place of sanctuary and passionate renewal for others - is it justified?

Maybe I'll try my other dream...be a wanderer....travel the world with the sole purpose of discovering stories and telling them. But then again - plane rides produce my lifetime share of carbon dioxide. So whats it gonna' be?